And I had just got comfy on the sofa when I was faced with the difficult decision of watching the god awful election results at 4 am in the morning or dealing with the gas leaking from the cooker that I had forgotten to turn off.

My life grew steady in linear repetition, my breakdowns were met with mass enthusiasm for all things implicit. Filmed time and time again in conjunction with sweet salmon because I had run out of salt and so sugar had to do.

User friendly was just another term for a compass facing South when you wanted it to face North. I came on in leaps and bounds, my allocation for crazy things would, in turn, also deteriorate. After a few more parachute jumps of course.

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